the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
