white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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