doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
wow bdsm is so cute
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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