this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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