I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
