just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
