I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
