apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
