Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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