oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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