I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
