And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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