And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
