yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
