3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
