I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
