She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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