I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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