I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
