Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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