Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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