didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Success! We fucked roommates!
I enjoy the company of your penis
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