Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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