two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
