After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
