Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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