Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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