i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
