I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
