I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
This girl is more easily done than said...
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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