Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
