So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
