Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Randomize