sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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