How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
