I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
