Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
wat bout pragnant strippers??
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
