I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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