no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
