U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
