You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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