Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
