Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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