If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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