vagina is talking i cant
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You pole danced in your parka.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
