Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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