Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
