hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
