is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
