my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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