xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
