she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
