North Korea, Best Korea!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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