So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
